The difference between wanting something and willing something.

I often beat myself up over my fleshly desires and thought patterns. I read recently that to want something and to will something are different things.  This got me thinking, and I came to the conclusion that whoever wrote this (It was some blogger or something; I can’t remember) was correct.  I may want a cookie but I haven’t actually willed that I will have a cookie until I get up to go grab one (or twelve) out of the pantry.  In the same way, I may desire something sinful, but I have not yet willed that I will sin.

As always, Jesus is our supreme example here.  He did not desire to go to the cross, but submitted to the will of his Father.  Remember, Jesus never sinned, but he did desire not to go to the cross (which would have been a sin of disobedience to his Father).  We can then conclude that it is not a sin to desire something that is sinful. When this occurred to me earlier, it was an immense encouragement.  As I said before, I often beat myself up over my desires, wondering why I can’t seem to get my flesh (thought habits, uses of time, attitudes) in line with what I know is truly important.  I usually don’t actually choose what my flesh desires, but somehow I still feel guilty for having desired it.  I realized today that this guilt is not a conviction from the Holy Spirit, but rather an accusation from Satan.

Our regenerate desires are constantly at war with our fleshly desires.  However, it is not what we want at any given moment that determines if we are in sin; it is instead our decisions and behavior that condemn us.  Oftentimes, outward obedience will fail to completely convey the inner conflict over the decision to obey.  This was certainly the case for Jesus’ passion.  He went to the cross without hesitation, but his spirit was in such agony that he sweat drops of blood (Luke 22:44).  Yet, in all of this he was without sin.

I encourage you (as I did) to examine not your desires, but your decions and your actions.  If you make a decision that is in line with what the Spirit desires, God is glorified.  Satan lies to us and tells us that God is disappointed in us because we desire what we know would be sin.  However, this is not the case.  If it were, Jesus would have been in sin in Gethsemane.  Even if everything in your flesh screams in protest, demanding that you fulfill your gluttony, passions, lusts, or covetous desires, but you stil will to follow Christ, God is honored.  In fact, if you say no to your flesh in order to say yes to Christ, he is even more honored.  The more you wanted what you refused, the more Jesus is glorified.  In every decision to deny our flesh, we are proclaiming to the world (and echoing back to our Father) that God is much more valuable than our petty desires of the flesh.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience when your obedience is complete. -2 Corinthians 10:5-6 (ESV)

Here, scripture tells us to take every thought captive to obey Christ.  It does not tell us not to think those thoughts in the first place.  Our goal should not be to control our thoughts, but to redirect them to glorify the King.  Again, it is not wrong to think these things, or to desire them.  Guilt should rise only when our flesh’s desires outweigh our regenerate desires and override our will, separating it from Christ’s will.  Like Jesus, we should say, “Not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42).

In addition to this, it has recently occurred to me that no one ever said that sanctification was easy.  Again, we should not despair when we are having significant trouble shaking a sin pattern or selfish attitude.  Paul calls this a war.  A war is fought with many battles; some we win, some we lose.  We know who wins in the end, but we must each ask ourselves this question, “Who is winning the battle in my life?”  Are your regenerate desires, more often than not, directing your decision in a way that will glorify Christ or does your flesh generally win out?

If your desire to follow Christ is stronger than any of your other desires, there is absolutely nothing for you to feel guilty about.  Your reaction in this case should be worship!

My beloved… work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. -Philippians 2:12

Praise God that a sinner has somehow been redeemed so that she no longer blindly follows her desires toward sin!  Praise God that he is working in the life of the young man who now chooses purity even against the strongest desires of his flesh.  This is the miracle of regeneration.  Our fleshly desires have been replaced with a desire to live for Christ.  That, if we stop to think about it, should make us tremble.

However, if your decisions consistently fall in the opposite direction, to appease the desires of your flesh, this is a serious problem that calls for some intense self examination.

For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.  For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. -Romans 8:13-17

Oftentimes we make scripture more complicated than it is.  This text is rather simple; if you live according to the flesh you will die.  This is not an earthly death – everyone will die an earthly death – but an eternal death.  If your life portrays a pattern of living and making decisions according to your fleshly desires, you will not be glorified with Christ.  Paul says that we are fellow heirs with Christ only if we suffer with him.  Now we have gotten back to where we started.  Christ desired to not go to the cross, but by the Spirit, he obeyed his Father.  He willed that he would suffer, and by denying our fleshly desires we prove that we have been united to Christ in his suffering.  If we do not will that we suffer by denying our flesh, we do not have the Spirit within us.  If we do not have the Spirit within us we are not saved, and we are headed for hell.  It’s that serious, and it’s that simple.

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