Taken from Richard Baxter’s The Reformed Pastor.
One of our most heinous and palpable sins is pride. This is a sin that has too much interest in the best of us, but which is more hateful and inexcusable in [those in full-time ministry] than in other men. Yet is it so prevalent in some of us, that it inditeth our discourses, it chooseth our company, it formeth our countenances, it putteth the accent and emphasis upon our words. It fills some men’s minds with aspiring desires, and designs: it possesseth them with envious and bitter thoughts against those who stand in their light, or who by any means eclipse their glory, or hinder the progress of their reputation.
This section on the “Use of Humiliation” absolutely wrecked me. It made me (and continues to make me) question my motivation towards ministry. Indeed, it did humiliate me. I’m currently in a process of self-examination because of it. The reason I post it on here is twofold: I hope that by unpacking this text I may better understand it, letting its charge sink more deeply into me. Secondly, I think that I know enough people who also aspire to ministry that, in the off chance that they read this, may benefit from the same type of humiliation.
With that said, I’m just going to highlight different points that stuck out to me in these 10 pages or so. Most of what is written here is merely a paraphrase of what Baxter said. Almost none of it is original.
- Does pride hinder you from talking with the unsaved as earnestly as you should? The truths we have committed our lives to are a matter of eternal life and death. God commands us to speak earnestly about these things, but pride controls the way we go about obeying this most holy commandment of God. Pride says to us, “If you talk like that, people are going to think you’re crazy. You will make them think you’re just ranting. Why don’t you be a little more chill about it?It’s not that big of a deal.” Even though we’re talking about God, if the way we do it is inspired by Satan, how can we expect to be effective.
- Does pride make you seek your own glory instead of the glory of God? Pride makes us seek ourselves and deny God when we should seek God’s glory and deny ourselves. We should ask, “What should I do, and how shall I do it, to please God best, and do the most good?” Instead we ask, “What should I do, and how should I do it, to make people think that I’m a smart and skilled Christian, and to be applauded by all that see me do it?” When we finish doing ministry, we’re more concerned with whether people think we did a good job than whether or not we helped anyone in the eternal sense. If we feel like we are highly thought of, we rejoice as if we have achieved our goal; but if we feel like people think that we’re no one special, we get depressed like we missed what we were shooting for.
- Does pride make you jealous of people who are more successful in ministry than you? We look at other people in ministry with intense jealousy. It’s as if we think that the glory that they receive belongs to us. We hate other people’s gifts of ministry if they at all take the attention off of us and our gifts of ministry. We’re on the same team! Aren’t all Christians members of the body of Christ? Therefore, we should thank God for the gifts that he has blessed other with in ministry. We’re condemning in our hearts the very love of Christ being lived out. Should we insult and be jealous of a fellow servant of Christ who is merely trying to do the work of our Master?
- Does pride make it difficult for you to do ministry in partnership with others? Do we cringe at the idea of working in ministry with someone else because it means that we will have to fight with them for precedence? There are times when we would rather fly solo in ministry (even if the ministry load is more than we can bear!) because it means we won’t have to share the glory of being the minister with another.
- Does pride make you value our opinions over what is actually true? We value so highly our own opinions that we can’t stand to have people propagate their opinions if they are at all different from ours. We think that if they disagree with us, they disagree with God. Since when are we infallible? We say that we’re passionate about truth when the only thing we’re really passionate about is ourselves. We refuse to give up on arguments because we don’t want to appear weak. When one of our views is condemned, we see it as a condemnation of our person, not our opinions. Then we complain that we are being attacked and abused.
- Does pride make you love only people who agree with you? We love people who will say what we say, agree with us, and promote our reputation even though in all other respects they are not at all worthy of our respect. We then hate people who contradict us, are different from us, tell us plainly when we screw up, and point out our faults. Our pride makes us think that everyone hates us, even when they do not.
- Does pride make you unable to accept rebuke? We’re so sensitive sometimes that someone can barely even touch us without our feelings getting hurt. It’s as if the only people who are allowed to rebuke us are those who are very good at paying compliments. Do we only accept criticism when it is laced with compliments? If compliments are not predominant in a rebuke, we think of it as an unbearable insult and then spiral into depression and self-pity.
- Does pride make you only able to minister to those who are already well thought of? Are we more likely to approach and encourage the kid that everyone likes at youth group than the lonely one who is rarely surrounded by a group of friends. Are we unwilling to minister to the homeless? The poor? The unpopular? All of this because of our own reputation?
Ouch.
